Karr writes “After they took Mother Away, I sank into a fierce lonesomeness for her that I couldn’t paddle out of into other things.” (158). Mary’s Mother at this point has just gone completely “Nervous” as the book would describe and burned down many of the things making up Mary and Lecia’s childhood. In my opinion it would be hard to miss anyone including a mother after something as traumatizing as that, especially if we already had a rocky relationship. And their relationship definitely wasn’t perfect, and Karr even shows that part of her isn’t sure about wanting her back when they are going to see her. Karr writes, “I finally told Daddy I didn’t want Mother to come home if she was gonna go crazy all over again, just because we hadn’t cleaned our room” (171). As the reader, I’m unsure about whether this is actually Mary’s indecision about her Mother coming home, or her fear that her Mother will come home just as Nervous as she left. Nevertheless, Karr begins to miss her mother so much that nothing around her can pull her out of this loneliness that she is feeling. Her situation isn’t helped by any of the neighborhood kids since the local trend (even adults do it) is to label anyone’s faults no matter how hurtful it could be to them or their family. Due to this, kids are constantly making fun of her because of her mother. Ironically it ends up being her distraction from her Mother for awhile.
A few pages later Karr also writes “Without them to plot against, I sank back into lonesomeness for Mother” (162). Mary finally found something to keep her mind off of her Mother. Granted, though this is a fight against a boy for making fun of her mother, it still does the job. Sadly though, the battle ends after just a few days and she is right back into her loneliness. I think that the fact that nothing but a fight for her mother’s honor can keep her mind off her mother is just more proof that she truly cares for her and wants her back home. Luckily for Mary though it ends up not being much longer before they go and pick her Mother up from the psych ward. It becomes even more evident through Mary’s jealousy that she truly wants her to come home. While at the ward, she becomes jealous that the other people inside are able to be around her Mother every day. When they take her home, Karr is very willing to make things work and they all end up laughing about what happened before. Personally, I find that to be slightly odd, but the family has never really been overly normal.
Mary’s Mother has a lot of problems as far as being Nervous goes. Mary shows that even at her young age at the time she’s trying to deal with her mother’s problems and enjoys having her around. Though Karr mostly shows contempt for her Mother before she’s taken Away, she proves through her feelings later on that she truly cares for her and feels lonesome without her. This is thoroughly proven throughout the book especially at the times when she is away at the ward.
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ReplyDeleteGreat blog, your onto something. I believe you can use a couple more choice examples that strongly prove your point however. "I would like to claim that I worried the bone of this choice a long time, but I did not. In an eye's blink, I killed the very sister who'd taken my place in the bullets path"(pg 255). Your point about being lonesome without her mom is true, but I believe if you switching that to having unconditional love for her mom would be a stronger argument, and you would also have more experiences to back that up. The fact she'd choose her mom over her sister has to be more than loneliness.
ReplyDeleteSome counterarguments would be that does she still show love and miss her mother like you've shown here when they move to Antelope? Because they weren't really spending time together at all. They quote I gave you earlier easily shuts that argument down because it's so powerful, but I'm just trying to help as much as possible by the criteria Mr. Wanczyk gave us. Overall its good and I don't know what else to say. We have a lot of time left though so I'll re read and try to help as much as possible.
The teacher just told us to check question 3, and after doing so. I've noticed your blog is some what summarizing. Your argument is that Mary cares and and feels lonely without her. But the quotes you used basically directly state that so its not much of an argument. You should go somewhere greater, like I said earlier, saying Mary unconditionally loves her mother. That's harder to see/prove more than Mary being lonely without her. Hope this helps.
1.) There is a clear thesis, it is the last line of the first paragraph:Though Karr mostly shows contempt for her Mother before she’s taken Away, she proves through her feelings later on that she truly cares for her and feels lonesome without her.
ReplyDeleteIt goes in the direction of one image but shown in two different ways. I think this makes sense and still fits the context of the assignment. The thesis is mildly argumentative and could be debated by the second quote you used. It might be possible to come up with a thesis that is slightly more argumentative.
1b.) Yes, both the book and the author are announced in the first handful of words.
2.) The two quotes that are used apply to the thesis. They are both really good examples. The only other example that came to my mind was the one about Mary being jealous of Lecia's relationship with their mom. There was good supporting evidence such as Mary being jealous of the crazy ladies who had the privilage of being able to be with her mother all day. The first and third quote just need a comma separating the intro and the quote itself. All of the quotes are followed by analyzation, I especially like the analyzation following the second quote. They follow and are relative to the thesis.
3.) There is some summarizing in the essay, but most of it seems to be essential to proving your point.
4.) Your point could be counter argued based of the second quote of Mary being unsure of whether she wants her mom to come home. But since you bring this up and address it, a counter argument would be kind of difficult.
5.) I'm having a tough time finding grammar problems, but then again I'm never been a good editor. Actually I just saw that you capitalized "Away" in the middle of a sentence in the conclusion.
6.) There is some opinion in here. In the first body paragraph it is introduced as your opinion, so I guess that is a legit way of presenting opinion. You also use the word personally at the end of the second body paragraph to introduce opinion.
7.) The essay is really focused and talks about the thesis of Mary missing her mother the entire time.
Hey Phil!!
ReplyDeleteI like the imagery and the question you posed: why does Mary miss her mother when she is taken away even though she has never been a great mother and she flies off the handle in attempts to kill the family? You named the author and title of the book in the beginning so your off to an awesome start. I like your thesis however I think you used more of a theme than an image, as Prof. Wanczyk just pointed out. A great deal of your essay was summary however it did have a major effect on the proof of your thesis. Try to focus a bit more on proving why Mary misses her mother even though she has never been a great mom. I think you should focus on why Mary feels such loneliness with out her mother. Your second quote and explanation offers more of your personal opinions which does a great job of proving your thesis. I think you have a great thesis and argument but try to stay on track and prove your thesis instead of stating things in generalities because your on to something! Your essay needs some review and and more proof to your arguments instead of asking more questions and then you will be solid. I hope I helped you out. Let me know if anything I commented on is confusing. Anyway, good job, I like the direction your headed in.
Phil,
ReplyDeleteI'd say your thesis is too much of a summary. By the end, we can see pretty clearly that Mary's feelings for her mother have morphed. Perhaps you can look at a few images to show the extent of this.
Maybe you can look at two scenes of drinking. Before the final chapter, Mary's mother's drinking is always a problem, but by the end they come together over margaritas. Are there images in those scenes that are particularly telling?
That said, you can probably figure out a way to stick with the images you've chosen. The thesis needs some more thought, though.